Understanding EMDR Therapy: What Adults in New York Should Know Before Starting Treatment

If you've been looking into trauma therapy options in New York, you've probably come across EMDR therapy more than once. Maybe a friend told you it helped them finally move past something they'd carried for years. Maybe your current therapist mentioned it could be worth exploring. Or maybe you found it while searching for something that goes deeper than the talk therapy you've already tried.

Whatever brought you here, I'm guessing you have questions. What actually happens during EMDR? Will it help with what you're going through? And is it the right fit for you?

As an EMDR therapist in New York City, I work with adults who are ready to do deeper trauma work than what they've experienced in regular talk therapy. I wrote this guide to walk you through everything you need to know before starting EMDR, so you can decide if it might be the right path for your healing.

What Is EMDR Therapy and How Does It Work?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Psychologist Francine Shapiro developed it in the late 1980s, and since then it has become one of the most researched treatments for trauma and PTSD.

But what does that actually mean for you?

Here's the simple version. EMDR helps your brain process traumatic memories that have become "stuck." When something overwhelming happens, your brain sometimes can't file it away the way it normally would. Instead of becoming a memory of something that happened in the past, it stays active. That's why so many trauma survivors feel like they're reliving painful experiences, even years or decades after they happened.

During EMDR sessions, you focus on a specific memory while also following my hand or a light bar with your eyes. This is called bilateral stimulation. I know it sounds a little unusual, and most people are skeptical when they first hear about it. But decades of research show that this combination helps your brain finally process those stuck memories. The emotional intensity decreases, and how you relate to those experiences changes.

The goal isn't to erase your memories or make you forget what happened. EMDR helps you remember difficult experiences without being overwhelmed by the emotions attached to them. Many of my clients describe it as finally being able to think about something painful without it hijacking their entire day.

Who Can Benefit from EMDR Therapy?

EMDR was originally created to treat post-traumatic stress disorder, and it's still one of the treatments recommended by the American Psychological Association, the World Health Organization, and the Department of Veterans Affairs.

But the uses have grown over the years. Adults who come to me for EMDR in New York are often dealing with a range of concerns connected to their past.

Trauma and PTSD

If you've been through a traumatic event and now deal with flashbacks, nightmares, being on edge all the time, or avoiding anything that reminds you of what happened, EMDR can help your brain process it. This includes one-time traumas like accidents or assaults, as well as ongoing traumatic situations.

Childhood Abuse and Neglect

So many adults carry the weight of difficult childhoods into their present lives without even realizing the connection. If you grew up in an environment where you experienced abuse or neglect, those early experiences shaped how you see yourself, how you handle relationships, and how you move through the world. EMDR can help you work through these deep patterns.

Developmental Trauma

Not all trauma comes from big, dramatic events. Sometimes it builds up from ongoing experiences during childhood. Maybe you had emotionally unavailable caregivers. Maybe your home environment was unpredictable. Maybe your emotional needs just weren't met consistently. This kind of developmental trauma can affect you just as much as more obvious traumatic events, and EMDR works well for addressing it.

Anxiety

Anxiety isn't always rooted in trauma, but it often is. If your anxiety feels connected to past experiences, or if other treatments haven't helped as much as you'd hoped, EMDR can get at the underlying causes instead of just helping you manage the symptoms.

Depression

Depression can sometimes be maintained by painful experiences that were never fully processed. When you formed negative beliefs about yourself during hard times (like feeling worthless, unlovable, or fundamentally flawed), those beliefs can stick around long after the original situation ended. EMDR helps update those old beliefs based on what you know to be true now.

What Makes Attachment-Focused EMDR Different?

Not all EMDR therapists work the same way. The attachment-focused approach I use in my Midtown Manhattan and Brooklyn practice specifically considers how your earliest relationships shaped who you are today.

Here's what I mean by that. Attachment theory tells us that the relationships we had with our primary caregivers as children created a kind of template. That template influences how we understand ourselves and how we connect with others for the rest of our lives. When those early attachments were disrupted, insecure, or traumatic, it affects everything from how safe we feel in relationships to how we handle our own emotions.

Attachment-focused EMDR addresses these early relational wounds directly. Instead of just targeting specific traumatic memories one by one, this approach helps repair your fundamental sense of safety and connection that may have been damaged during your formative years.

I find this model particularly helpful for adults dealing with developmental trauma or childhood abuse and neglect. If you've noticed certain patterns repeating in your life (like always ending up in the same kinds of relationships, struggling to feel truly close to anyone, or having this persistent feeling that something is just wrong with you), attachment-focused EMDR can help you get to the roots of those patterns.

The Eight Phases of EMDR Treatment

EMDR follows a structured eight-phase approach, though your experience will be shaped by your specific needs and history. Knowing what these phases involve can help you feel more prepared.

Phase 1: History Taking and Treatment Planning

Before we do any processing work, we spend time getting to know your history, what brought you to therapy, and what you're hoping to achieve. This isn't just paperwork. It helps me understand the best way to approach your treatment, and it makes sure we're on the same page about your goals.

During this phase, we also figure out which memories or experiences we'll focus on during the processing work. For some people, there's one clear event that needs attention. For others, especially those with developmental trauma, we may need to identify less obvious targets that are just as important.

Phase 2: Preparation

This phase is all about making sure you feel ready for the emotional work ahead. We talk about what EMDR involves, I answer your questions, and we build up techniques for managing any distress that comes up during or between sessions.

For many adults, especially those who experienced early trauma, this preparation phase takes a bit longer. And that's perfectly fine. Taking time to build a strong foundation makes everything that follows more effective.

Phase 3: Assessment

When we're ready to work on a specific memory, we start by identifying all its pieces: the image that represents the worst part, the negative belief about yourself that's connected to it, the positive belief you'd rather have, the emotions and body sensations that come up, and how disturbing it feels to you right now.

This careful assessment helps us track your progress and makes sure we're addressing the memory fully.

Phases 4 through 7: Processing

These phases are where the actual reprocessing happens. You focus on the memory we've identified while following the bilateral stimulation. You notice whatever thoughts, images, emotions, or body sensations come up, and we work through them until the memory doesn't carry the same weight anymore.

This is usually where people get surprised by how EMDR feels. You're not just talking about what happened. You're actually feeling your brain work through it. People often make connections they never made before and arrive at new understandings that feel true in their bones, not just in their heads.

Phase 8: Reevaluation

At the beginning of each new session, we check in on what we processed before. We make sure the positive changes have stuck and address anything new that might have come up.

What a Typical EMDR Session Looks Like

If you're trying to picture what this actually looks like in real life, here's a general idea of what happens during a processing session.

Standard sessions usually run 50 to 60 minutes, though the exact format depends on your treatment plan. You'll sit comfortably in my Midtown office or, if we're meeting online, in a private space you've chosen at home.

After we check in about how things have been since our last meeting, we focus on the memory or experience we've identified to work on. You hold that memory in mind while following my fingers or a light bar with your eyes. We do this in sets, with brief pauses in between where you tell me what you're noticing.

During processing, you might feel emotions, have new thoughts or memories pop up, or notice sensations in your body. There's no "right" way to experience EMDR. Your brain knows what it needs to work through, and my job is to support you in that process.

I know some people worry that EMDR will be too intense or that they'll have to relive their trauma. Here's what I want you to know: while you will be connecting with difficult material, you stay in control the whole time. You're not going back into the trauma. You're processing it while staying grounded in the present, with me there to support you.

EMDR Intensives: An Alternative to Weekly Therapy

For some people, meeting once a week doesn't feel like the right fit. Maybe you've done weekly therapy for years and want to see faster progress. Maybe your schedule makes regular weekly appointments hard to keep. Or maybe you're dealing with something that feels urgent and you want to address it more quickly.

EMDR intensives offer a different option. Instead of spreading treatment over many weekly sessions, we condense the work into longer sessions scheduled over a shorter period. Rather than 50 minutes once a week, intensive sessions last several hours and happen over consecutive days or within a concentrated timeframe.

This format lets you go deeper without losing your momentum between sessions. In weekly therapy, part of each session often goes to reconnecting with where we left off. With intensives, you can stay in the processing and make real progress in a focused way.

Intensives aren't the right choice for everyone, and we'd talk about whether they make sense for you during your consultation. Some people do better with the steady rhythm of weekly sessions, while others really thrive with the intensive format.

EMDR Therapy in New York: In-Person and Online Options

I offer EMDR both in-person at my Midtown Manhattan and Brooklyn office and online for anyone in New York State. Both work well, and the best choice depends on what feels right for you.

In-Person Sessions

My offices are in Midtown and in Brooklyn, which makes it easy to get to from many parts of New York City and convenient if you commute into the city for work. Some people prefer coming in because they like having a space for therapy that's completely separate from home. Being in the same room can also feel more grounding when you're doing deep emotional work.

Online EMDR Therapy Throughout New York State

If you live anywhere in New York State, online EMDR is available to you. We meet through a secure video platform, and I use techniques for bilateral stimulation that work just as well online as they do in person.

Online sessions give you flexibility if you have a packed schedule, a long commute, or simply prefer working from home. A lot of people actually find they can be more open and vulnerable when they're in their own comfortable space.

What to Look for in an EMDR Therapist

Therapists who offer EMDR don't all have the same training or take the same approach. Here are a few things worth thinking about as you look for the right fit.

Specialized Training

EMDR takes specific training beyond what therapists learn in graduate school. You want someone who has done thorough EMDR training and keeps developing their skills.

Experience with What You're Dealing With

If developmental trauma or childhood abuse and neglect are part of your story, it really matters to work with someone who focuses on those areas. The attachment-focused approach, for example, takes extra knowledge about how early relational wounds show up and how to address them.

Feeling Comfortable Together

This might be the most important thing. EMDR asks you to be vulnerable and to trust someone to guide you through hard emotional territory. The relationship between you and your therapist matters a lot.

That's exactly why I start with a complimentary consultation. It gives both of us a chance to see if working together feels right before you commit to anything.

Common Questions About Starting EMDR Therapy

How long does EMDR treatment take?

It really depends on what you're working through, your history, and how your brain responds. Someone dealing with a single traumatic event might notice real improvement in just a few sessions. Someone with complex developmental trauma will probably need more time. We'll talk through realistic expectations for your situation during your consultation.

Does EMDR work for everyone?

EMDR has solid research behind it and helps a lot of people. But no therapy helps everyone. Some people respond quickly and see big changes. Others find it useful but more gradual. And some just don't connect with the approach. This is one more reason the consultation matters. We can talk about your background and what you're looking for, and think together about whether EMDR seems like a good match.

Do I have to describe my trauma in detail?

One thing many people really appreciate about EMDR is that you don't have to tell the whole story of your trauma the way you might in regular talk therapy. You need to hold the memory in mind, but you don't have to walk me through every detail of what happened. For people who find it hard or even retraumatizing to talk extensively about their experiences, this makes EMDR feel much more manageable.

What if I'm already seeing another therapist?

Sometimes people want to add EMDR for trauma processing while continuing with their existing therapist for other kinds of support. That can work, and we can figure out how to coordinate if that's your situation.

What should I expect between sessions?

Your brain often keeps processing between our meetings. You might notice old memories surfacing, have vivid dreams, or feel emotional shifts throughout the week. This is normal and usually a good sign that the work is happening. We'll talk about what to expect and how to take care of yourself in between sessions.

Is EMDR Therapy Right for You?

Reading about EMDR can give you a sense of what it is, but the only way to really know if it's right for you is to explore it in the context of your own life and experiences.

If you're an adult in New York who's ready to work more deeply on trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, or the effects of what you went through as a child, EMDR might be exactly what you've been looking for.

I work with adults who are ready to go beyond what traditional talk therapy has given them. My attachment-focused approach addresses not just specific memories but the deeper relational wounds that shape how you experience yourself and your relationships.

Taking the Next Step

Starting therapy takes courage, especially trauma therapy. You might still have questions or feel unsure about whether this is the right time. That makes complete sense.

I offer a complimentary Zoom consultation where we can talk about what's been going on for you, what you're hoping for, and whether we might be a good fit. There's no pressure and no obligation. It's just a conversation to help you figure out your next step.

If you're in New York City or anywhere in New York State and you're curious about EMDR, I'd love to hear from you. Reach out to schedule your free consultation and learn more about how EMDR could support your healing.

What you've been carrying doesn't have to define the rest of your life. With the right support, real change is possible.